You bought the planner.
You know the one.
The planner.
The one with the specific system that’s finally going to make you consistent.
You’ve watched the videos. Read the books. Done the habit audit. Saved the posts. Maybe even bought a new set of pens because apparently these are the pens that are going to change everything.
And you’re still here.
Doing some version of the same thing you did last time, which was, incidentally, some version of the same thing you did the time before that.
I mean — at what point does trying become its own kind of stuck?
Because here's what makes this so frustrating: you are trying.
You're not sitting around waiting for your life to magically change.
You're reading. Planning. Thinking. Praying. Journaling. Trying to understand yourself better.
You're doing all kinds of things that feel like movement.
And some of them probably are.
But eventually there comes a point when another plan can't take the step for you.
And I think that's the part that can be harder to admit.
Because actually taking the step means something could happen.
You could get it wrong.
You could change your mind.
You could put something out there and nobody care.
You could tell people what you're doing and then have to tell them it didn't work.
And maybe that's why “fear of failure” has never quite explained it for me.
Because what exactly are we afraid will happen if we fail?
Is it the failure?
Or is it what we think the failure will mean?
That people will judge us.
That we'll be embarrassed.
That someone will think, Well, she really thought she could do that.
That we'll confirm some quiet fear we've had about ourselves all along.
Maybe even that we'll be exposed as someone who tried...
and didn't make it.
Well, that's uncomfortable.
And also?
I get it.
I remember doing a devotional called Awakened by Simcha Natan during a season when I was thinking a lot about why we stay stuck.
One of the ideas she shared was that failure is essentially fear dressed up as something else — and that failure itself doesn't really exist in the way we've allowed it to exist in our minds.
That made me stop.
Because how many things had I already decided I could fail at before I'd even been willing to try them?
How many times had I treated a possible outcome like a verdict on me?
But there was another line in that devotional that stayed with me even more:
“We cannot conquer new ground if we do not walk on it.”
Oof.
Because there's the problem.
You can study the ground.
Plan for the ground.
Pray about the ground.
Buy a very nice planner specifically dedicated to conquering the ground.
Ahem.
But at some point...
you have to walk on it.
And I think sometimes that's where those of us who are really good at preparing can fool ourselves.
We tell ourselves we're not ready yet.
We need a little more clarity.
A better plan.
More confidence.
Maybe one more sign that this is definitely the right move.
And meanwhile, we're waiting for something that may only come after we move.
I don't think that means every hesitation is fear.
Sometimes waiting is wise.
Sometimes more information really is needed.
Sometimes the answer actually is not yet.
But I think most of us know the difference between waiting because something isn't right...
and circling something we've wanted to do for months because actually trying would mean we could no longer protect ourselves with someday.
I've done both.
And the second one can look an awful lot like preparation from the outside.
Maybe that's why being stuck can be so confusing.
It doesn't always look like doing nothing.
Sometimes it looks like doing everything around the thing.
So maybe the question isn't:
Why can't I get myself together?
Or:
Why am I still stuck?
Maybe it's something much smaller.
What ground have I spent a lot of time preparing to walk on... without ever actually putting my foot on it?
You don't have to conquer it today.
Maybe you just stop studying it from the sidelines.
And take one step onto it.
Want to keep going with this conversation?
🎧 Listen to Episode 2: Why Most People Stay Stuck (And How to Break Free) →